


Bottoms Up

by zeejayblue



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Altean Alcohol, Crack, Drunk Character, Drunk Shiro, Drunkenness, Gen, Humor, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Shiro is not sober, and drank it all, cut me some slack i'm trying here okay, i've never written a drunk character before, shiro stumbled across some altean alcohol, way to go shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 19:05:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11927298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeejayblue/pseuds/zeejayblue
Summary: Shiro stumbles upon a fancy Altean bottle in the cabinets when looking for a glass for some water. Curious, he pours himself a glass.





	Bottoms Up

    “I’m going to grab some water, anyone need anything?” Shiro questioned, standing from the couch. The paladins thought for a moment before shaking their heads. Shiro shrugged, walking down the hall and into the kitchen.

    Shiro exhaled as he opened the cabinets, scanning each cup. His eyes fell upon a fancy looking bottle in the back of the cabinet, and decided to pull it out to get a closer look. The bottle contained a violet colored liquid, and the label was completely in Altean. Shrugging, Shiro decided to pour some of the violet liquid in a tall glass.

    When Shiro took a sip, the liquid's fruity taste hit his tongue. Shiro squinted as it burned a little bit, but it began to taste better after he swallowed it. He hummed thoughtfully, his eyes looking up at nothing in particular. Shiro continued to drink the fruity flavored drink, enjoying the taste.

    “What  _ is _ this stuff?” Shiro muttered to himself, grabbing the bottle and attempting to read the label. Shiro just shrugged and poured the rest of the bottle into his rather large glass. 

    After about half a glass, and Shiro began to feel tipsy. But he felt happy and calm, so he continued to drink whatever was in the bottle. It tasted like fruit, but Shiro couldn’t decipher its exact flavor. It tasted great, though. 

    After each sip, the buzz got stronger. Whatever this Altean beverage was, it was  _ amazing.  _ Shiro felt so  _ good _ , and for once in what feels like a lifetime, he felt  _ serene. _ Shiro felt giggly and blissful. He hoped that there was more of this Altean beverage, because it was the best thing he’s ever tasted.

    Shiro stood up, setting down the fancy, empty Altean bottle. He grabbed his half full glass and wandered back into the common room. The paladins looked to Shiro, and Keith raised an eyebrow at his adoptive older brother. Shiro’s cheeks had a light pink tint, and he looked like he was wobbling a bit when he walked in. And not to mention the violet colored drink in his glass that was most certainly not water.

    “Whatcha got there?” Keith questioned, slightly amused. Shiro wobbled a bit as he walked in. He sat down on the couch next to his adoptive younger brother, pointing a flaccid finger at the glass.

    “I dunno  _ WHAT  _ it is, but it tastes like fruit,” Shiro marveled, his words slightly slurred. He took another sip, sighing as the glass left his lips.

     “Is he…?” Pidge trailed off, looking around at the other paladins. Keith looked to his older brother. It seemed that Shiro was attempting to read something on the control monitor. 

    “I can’t even  _ read  _ right now,” Shiro muttered in a whiny voice, squinting a little as he leaned forward.

    “I'm pretty sure I’m drunk,” Shiro mumbled loudly. Shiro’s eyebrows raised as he took another sip of the Altean liquid in the glass.

    “Stop drinking that then,” Keith commented, ripping the glass from Shiro’s hands. Shiro gasped dramatically and pouted.

    “Keith, give it _ back, _ ” Shiro demanded, his words slower than usual. 

    “I am an  _ ADULT, _ ” Shiro pointed out, gesturing dramatically and loosely to himself.

    “Say, Shiro, I have a task for you,” Pidge called. 

    “Ooh, a _ quest, _ ” Shiro gasped. Keith snorted at the black paladin's reaction. Shiro pouted at his adoptive younger brother before looking back to Pidge.

    “What do you say you get the bottle your drink was in for me?” Pidge queried. Shiro nodded and discursively stood up from his seat, wandering into the kitchen to fetch the Altean bottle.

    “Good luck readin’ it, it has a tonna squigglies all over it,” Shiro slurred. He tossed Pidge the bottle as he plopped back down on the couch. Shiro sighed contentedly as he took another sip from his now almost empty glass.

    “Well, I wish I was more surprised,” Pidge commented as she read the Altean label.

    “What does it say?” Lance questioned. Pidge adjusted her glasses before she set the bottle down on a side table.

    “It’s Altean alcohol,” Pidge declared. The paladins looked at each other, and then looked to Shiro with stunned faces.

    “What?” Shiro questioned rhetorically. The paladins’ faces didn’t change, and Shiro shrugged as he slammed down the rest of his drink in his glass.

    “It says here that the entire bottle contains 17% alcohol. All of which, mind you, is  _ twice as strong  _ as earth alcohol,” Pidge continued. Hunk, Lance, and Keith collectively gasped and looked to Shiro. He only hiccuped, and then laughed loudly at himself.

    “And Shiro drank the _ entire _ bottle,” Pidge finished with a sigh of disappointment.

    “Pidge-podge, you need to lighten up,” Shiro slurred, setting his empty glass down. Pidge raised an eyebrow.

    “I have some advice for all of you,” Shiro began. The paladins became interested and they all turned to their drunken senior officer.

    “In life, all you need to do… is smile, okay?” Shiro jabbered. Keith snorted at his older brother’s advice, and everyone else held back a laugh.

    “You just be yourself,” Shiro finished, pointing a lazy finger outwards. 

    “Insightful, Shiro, thank you,” Keith replied with a soft laugh.

    “You fuckin’ bet, lil’ bro,” Shiro mumbled as he languidly patted Keith’s shoulder.

    “You take care of yourselves. Kick ass, go to space, and represent the human race,” Shiro declared. He nodded to himself with a serious expression as he leaned back into his seat.

    “Amen,” Hunk chuckled.

    “Hell yeah,” Shiro sang softly as he kicked his feet up on the small coffee table in front of him. 

    “So, got anymore advice for us?” Lance queried with a smirk, looking to start a conversation out of boredom.

    “Mmmmnope,” Shiro muttered, turning his head to the side as if that would help him think better.

    “So, anyone up for dinner?” Hunk questioned. Shiro gasped loudly and startled everyone.

    “I am  _ STARVING, _ ” Shiro groaned, sliding down the couch and sitting on the floor. Everyone let out a collective chuckle as Hunk set off to the kitchen.

    “Where’s my food?” Shiro pouted, turning around towards the kitchen. Keith laughed and placed a hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

    “He has to make it,” Keith chuckled. Shiro groaned loudly and dramatically flopped back on the couch.

    “We’re in a fuckin’... futuristic castle or something, why can’t it just  _ appear? _ ” Shiro pondered. Keith jokingly rolled his eyes.

    “Oh, oh, did you guys know that Zarkon and Haggar were like… a  _ thing? _ ” Shiro questioned. 

    “Yeah, we heard the origin story,” Pidge replied. It was hard to be disappointed because drunk Shiro was too entertaining. 

    “Lotor’s their son,” Shiro muttered aloud, placing his index finger to his chin.

    “Oh my god, that means they _ fucked, _ ” Shiro gasped. Pidge spit out her water and began to explode in laughter. This caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout the room.

    “Oh god, do you think they fucked in the black lion?” Shiro questioned, his face contorting in disgust. 

    “They better have cleaned,” Shiro slurred, scoffing. Lance was crying from laughing so hard.

    “Yaknow what I think? I think Zarkon looks like a greasy turtle,” Shiro commented after a brief silence.

    “Shiro, I’m gonna piss myself over here,” Lance cackled, clutching his stomach and wiping tears from his eyes.

    “Now I know where Lotor’s greasy comes from,” Shiro declared confidently. 

     Hunk burst in with what looked like a pizza, and Shiro gasped loudly. Hunk laughed and set the plate down, jumping back in surprise when Shiro grabbed four slices.

    “Um, Shiro, it’s hot,” Hunk commented. Shiro shot a glare at Hunk and raised an eyebrow.

    “Yeah? So am I,” Shiro replied, taking a huge bite out of one slice. He gasped once it hit his tongue, but swallowed it anyway.

Shiro sat there in silence for a minute. Keith looked over and realized Shiro was crying.

    “What’s wrong?” Keith asked, trying to seem sympathetic but in reality he was trying his hardest not to laugh.

    “It  _ burnt _ me,” Shiro sobbed, pointing to his pizza slice. Keith couldn’t help but laugh and Shiro sniffled.

    “Why do the ones I love have to hurt me the most?” Shiro whimpered, pushing his plate away from him. Everyone laughed and Shiro continued to cry, staring at his pizza like it had broken his heart.

    As soon as Shiro’s pizza cooled down, he took another bite out of the half eaten slice and immediately stopped crying. Everyone snickered at Shiro as they ate their share of dinner. 

    “Is it okay now?” Keith asked his brother. Shiro hummed and nodded as he finished his four slices.

    “I forgave ‘em, for burning me. Don’t worry,” Shiro assured.

    “Oh, that’s good,” Keith replied, holding back laughter.

    “Paladins, it’s time for training,” Allura announced as she stepped in. Shiro turned around, with tear streaks down his cheeks and puffy eyes.

    “Shiro? Are you okay?” Allura questioned, growing worried.

    “He’s fine, he's just drunk,” Keith replied with disappointment and amusement. Shiro laughed, grabbing a fifth pizza slice. Allura raised both eyebrows and then looked to Pidge. She smirked and waved the empty Altean bottle of alcohol in her hand.

    “Okay, so, no training tonight then,” Allura sighed in disappointment.

    “Shiro?” Allura called. Shiro whipped his head around so fast that he got dizzy and fell over.

    “Drink some water, Shiro,” Allura held back a laugh as she shook her head. She left the room as Shiro sat up, running his hands through his hair and sitting back on the couch. After a second, Shiro bolted upwards and began to stumble out of the room.

    “Where are you going?” Keith called. The paladins then heard retching coming from the kitchen and cringed.

    Shiro stumbled back into the room, holding the doorway for support. He was now drunk out of his mind. His hair was a mess, and his face was pink.

    “The pizza didn’t like me,” Shiro slurred, not moving from the doorway.

    “You know what? I think you should go to bed,” Keith advised. Shiro looked up and furrowed his eyebrows.

    “But it’s only eight o’clock,” Shiro mumbled.

    “And you’re so drunk, you can’t even  _ stand up _ straight,” Keith scoffed.

    “Why did you drink the whole bottle?” Keith questioned, shaking his head in disappointment. The full effects of the alcohol have kicked in. Shiro was giggly and happy for a while, but now it seemed like he was about to pass out at any given moment.

    “It tasted good,” Shiro whined.

    “Let’s go to the infirmary, hm? You can sober up,” Keith urged, guiding his older brother down the hallway. The other paladins chuckled as they watched Keith guide Shiro down the hallway.

    “Yaknow what, Keith?” Shiro began.

    “What?” Keith asked, scanning the hallway for the infirmary door.

    “You’re the best lil’ bro ever,” Shiro complimented.

    “Thank you, Shiro,” Keith chuckled as he opened the infirmary door.

    “Hi Coran,” Shiro greeted loudly and enthusiastically. Coran turned around and raised his eyebrows at the sight. Shiro was drunkenly holding onto his adoptive younger brother. Shiro's languid, drunk body slumped over at the effort of standing up.

    “He drank an entire bottle of Altean alcohol, he needs to sober up,” Keith advised. Coran shook his head in amusement and helped Shiro into a bed.

    “Ouch, that’s pokey,” Shiro whined when Coran inserted a banana bag IV. 

    “It’ll help sober you up. It'll also help fend off a hangover,” Coran assured, patting Shiro’s shoulder before setting off.

    “Get some sleep, Shiro, you need to sober up,” Keith ordered.

    “You’re gonna have a  _ horrible _ hangover tomorrow,” Keith pointed out as he turned to leave. Shiro pouted and sighed when Keith shut the door behind him. He immediately fell asleep once  he silence surrounded him.

    Shiro woke up the next day with a pounding headache and nausea. He groaned and rubbed his temples when he opened his eyes, the light aggravating his migraine.

    “Well, rise and shine,” Coran laughed. Shiro’s face contorted in discomfort.

    “Stop yelling,” Shiro rasped quietly, rubbing his temples. 

    “Want some anti nausea and pain meds?” Coran offered, already prepping the bags of medication. Shiro nodded and Coran chuckled, connecting it to Shiro’s IV.

    “I heard many stories from Keith about what you did last night,” Coran commented. Shiro raised an eyebrow.

    “Do you not remember what happened last night?” Coran marveled. Shiro thought for a moment and shook his head.

    “Well, you were pretty drunk. Reminded me of my college days,” Coran reminisced. 

    “Keith told me you cried over a slice of hot pizza,” Coran laughed. Shiro groaned and rubbed his temples, swallowing to fend off the nausea. Shiro hoped the medicine would kick in soon, because he didn't feel like vomiting at the moment.

    “You rest up,” Coran ordered as he left the room. As soon as the door shut, Shiro sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair.

    “I am  _ never  _ drinking again.”

**Author's Note:**

> drunk shiro is SO fun to write  
> he cried over a hot slice of pizza lmao what a mood  
> i've never written drunk shiro but i figured he'd be the kind of calm chill giggly drunk bc he's normally so stressed out and trying to maintain a serious composure for the paladins and when you're drunk all of you inhibitions go away so i figured this was accurate? idk,, i tried my best  
> this was just for fun, so i hope y'all enjoyed it!


End file.
